Autism and Faith

I mentioned in my last post that I'm really trying to figure out how to navigate church and faith as an adult with autism. I'm really struggling with it and feel so much guilt around the situation. I haven't been attending church regularly because it seems to upset the balance I've been able to find in my life.

I love learning about God and the Bible. I love people and care deeply for people. But I am easily overwhelmed in social situations especially in group settings. I find the demand of attending church weekly very difficult. The social expectation to talk to people, especially people I don't really know, is exhausting.

I have to be "on" all week at work and with my daughter's social life, that by the time the weekend comes around I've literally run out of words. I've done my best to trim back social demands in my life but I can't really trim anymore without negatively impacting my ability to provide for my family or my daughter's happiness and quality of life (especially because she is very social).

I don't really have anyone in my life to genuinely hash this out without judgement. The expectation is that you go to church and if you're not you're somehow failing at the whole faith thing. I've done Google searches and even asked ChatGPT all without really much of an answer.

For a while I was a part of a group text that included about 30 Christian women. It was mainly a way to let everyone know when and where the weekly Bible study would be, but they also would share prayer requests, praises, etc. in the group text as well. It was the most comfortable I had felt in a faith community in a long time, but ended up leaving the text because I wasn't actually attending the weekly Bible study and it felt weird.

Could that be the answer? A virtual faith community? A place where people, especially autistic individuals, can engage as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. A place where there aren't crowds of people, loud music and bright lights. Where you can plug in and unplug as you need to. "The Autistic Church" as it were.

I'm extremely interested in this idea of faith and autism. A way to practice my faith that feels genuine and not forced. I don't want to have to mask to practice my faith. I want to be able to show up completely raw and unapologetically me and be accepted. I know the Lord loves me and accepts me as I am, but I can't seem to find a church or faith community that provides that space.

I know basically nobody reads this blog, but I'm genuinely interested in input. So if you're reading this and if you are someone who is autistic and practice faith (whatever faith that may be) how do you do it? What does that look like for you? I really want to learn how others are navigating this in the hopes that it can help me navigate it as well.